Starting New.

The journey into motherhood is something that NO ONE can ever prepare you for. No matter how much you read or try to prepare, there is nothing that will make it easy. My reality check came shortly after Christmas when I finally admitted that I felt completely "out of control". I found myself crying at the drop of a dime, feeling like I hadn't slept in months and constantly worrying. I had an emotional breakdown and went to the one person who I knew would understand....my own mother. As much as it hurt to finally admit, I finally said the words to my husband..."I think I have postpartum depression". And hearing it being said out loud was frightening. At such a wonderful time in my life how could I possibly be depressed?? For once in my life I had to admit that I was not in control. That I was not able to do this on my own. I needed help. And I would do ANYTHING to regain my old self. Only what I didn't realize was that my old self would be a new self. I am a MOTHER now...and I have to learn to adjust to someone else's schedule. My tiny Mya has control now. I needed to learn to let go and relax and do what comes naturally. First things first....I had to learn to listen.

So this will be the story of my journey. It will be my therapy and hopefully encouraging to other mother's who are also having trouble adjusting. Slowly, I can feel myself getting better. Each day is a new beginning....I will write my own story and with time will overcome anything.

Today my words of encouragement are from a woman who I deeply respect, my grandmother. They are this:

"Your situation may endanger your life and limbs, but only your thoughts can endanger your happiness. Whatever you're doing, choose thoughts that knit your heart together rather than tear it apart."